


the lights that we fade in

by knightsofthesun



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Developing Relationship, Friendship, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-16 14:07:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13637820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightsofthesun/pseuds/knightsofthesun
Summary: Jinyoung is polite and quiet and has the prettiest eyes Daehwi’s ever seen.





	the lights that we fade in

**Author's Note:**

  * For [topazios](https://archiveofourown.org/users/topazios/gifts).



> sooooo, hi \O ~~is this thing on~~  
>  first of all, hI THERE AGAIN. MORNING' (night? evening? who knows)
> 
> this isn't nearly as big as I planned it ;; sadly, college got in the way and I just???? got confused and lost  
>  ~~but let's quit talking about me~~
> 
> I don't know what to say????? I had much fun writing this, like, for real. It was way easier and way nicer than I was expecting it to be. I hope you'll like it! <3 (tho if you don't, feel free to drop by and hit me with a frying pan qq just do it with care, pls, I'm a soft mochi)

Daehwi’s never really wondered about his soulmate. He never felt the need to ― he doesn’t like to stare at the the red string tied to his finger, like many of his friends did and still do throughout life. It’s not because he _doesn’t care;_ he does. It’s just never really bothered him, not knowing who is his soulmate or where they are. Daehwi lives in the moment ― meeting people, making friends, to him, is almost as easy as breathing. It’s part of who he _is;_ Daehwi craves contact, he craves proximity, he _likes_ the comfort and safety that comes with it.

People get used to it, eventually. The ones who don’t tend not to stick around much, but Daehwi can’t really blame them for it. Even his _friends,_ sometimes his _parents_ get awkward too fast while around him for long periods of time, and Daehwi can’t really understand the reason behind it. Sure, many people think of being touchy much like a taboo thing, specially when it’s someone whose soulmate wasn’t found yet, but it’s _not his fault._ That’s who he is. That’s what he _does._

Daehwi’s a touchy person ―  he’s always been and will always be, he guesses.

And then he meets Jinyoung.

Jinyoung, who’s quiet and stoic and every thing he’s _not_ ― who doesn’t entirely approve of Daehwi’s manners, but doesn’t judge him for it either, who never entirely _relaxes_ when Daehwi touches him, but never bats an eyelash when the younger wraps both arms around him, clinging to him like a baby koala.

They’re not soulmates, Daehwi knows. The lack of interwined red strings is enough for him to be sure, but even _then._ Sometimes, Daehwi finds himself staring at the small red thing tied to his finger, and he _wonders._

 

 

 

They first meet because of Jaehwan. It has something to do with his own soulmate ― something about how he and Sewoon would’ve met way sooner if they had more interest in meeting each other’s friends, Daehwi doesn’t know for sure. To be quite honest, he’s a bit excited about it ― his hyung’s always been a bit on the romantic side, even if he refuses to admit it, and it’s kind of nice to know he’s happy with how things turned out for him.

Jaehwan’s the type of friend who never cared much about Daehwi’s antics, because he himself is quite fond of being near people, close to them. Maybe not because of the same reasons, but he understands it enough not to pry, enough to feel comfortable around Daehwi, to be satisfied with the friendship they have.

Daehwi likes his hyung, too, a lot, but even _him_ can’t help the flaring warmth of amusement when he finds himself at Jaehwan’s house, filled almost to the brim with many, many people ― some faces familiar, some not so much, and he’s sure that a few of them actually think that’s a party, not a friendly confraternization for the sake of a very stubborn guy. He smiles and greets people and receives a warm, suffocating hug from Jaehwan as soon as they find each other amidst the ocean of people.

“Daehwi!” Jaehwan’s smiling from ear to ear, cheeks rosy, eyes glowing with happiness. “I’m so glad you could make it!”

Daehwi finds himself smiling, because it’s impossible not to. Jaehwan’s always been kind of a brother to him, a comforting presence, someone to count on, and Daehwi is content for his hyung ― he’s content that the older has found someone that will stay by his side no matter what, that’s willing to do it, soulmate or not. Sure, they both have some kind of rivalry going on, a competition that Daehwi has no idea where it came from, but it doesn’t seem to bother anyone in the slightest.

If there’s someone that deserves being cherished and loved, that someone is Jaehwan.

“I’m glad, too, hyung.” he squeezes the older a bit more before letting of off him. “So, do you really know _all_ of these people, or Sewoon hyung let you invite everyone you found in the corridors of college?”

Jaehwan scoffs, but the color deepening in his cheeks is enough of an answer even before he decides to say something out loud.

“I have no idea who half of them are.” he shrugs. “Doesn’t really matter. The idea stays the same.”

_Dump a lot of people in a place and hope that a few of them are soulmates,_ Daehwi thinks, but decides not to say anything. Jaehwan is happy, Sewoon doesn’t mind, and Daehwi’s not going to be the one to spoil all the fun. If someone _does_ find their soulmate in the crowd, it’ll sure make the situation even more hilarious, and Daehwi keeps the smile on his face, thinking that Jaehwan sure would _love_ to brag about this.

“Come with me.” the older tugs at his sleeve, pulling him along the mass of people, moment of embarassment forgotten, excited. “Sewoon’s friends came, too. They’re nice, I think you’ll like them.”

Later, Daehwi will consider this moment and think that, in the end, the universe has a sense of humor that has no logic at all. Things could’ve gone smoothly, people could’ve found their soulmates, no drama, no nothing ― Jaehwan would brag and Sewoon would rolls his eyes and Guanlin would laugh about how silly his hyungs would be.

Instead, Daehwi’s left with a boy that’s not his soulmate, but doesn’t quite fit in any other category ― not close enough, not far enough, not rejecting him but not outright understanding either. It has no logic, and, sometimes, Daehwi asks himself if it should.

 

 

 

Jinyoung is polite and quiet and has the prettiest eyes Daehwi’s ever seen. They’re roundy and big and _expressive,_ and tell the world everything he himself doesn’t seem to be able to say. They make Daehwi want to make him smile, to make him laugh more, and the feeling is strange, unfamiliar. Jaehwan leaves them together at one corner, happily anouncing he’ll find Minhyun and drag him along, and Daehwi swears he sees a glow of amusement in Jinyoung’s eyes before he looks away, and then Jaehwan’s gone and the moment’s over.

It’s not _silent,_ not with the ‘party’ still alive and going around them, but Daehwi finds himself scrambling his mind in search for something to strike a conversation, _anything_ that has no relation to how awkwardly they fidget around each other, not exactly comfortable enough to simply talk, but not uncomfortable enough to find a lame excuse to leave as soon as possible.

“So… You’re a friend of Jaehwan hyung, aren’t you?”

The smooth voice ― and the calmness of the question ― makes Daehwi look up, caught off guard, and Jinyoung’s not staring at him, eyes focused on the strangers talking and laughing in front of him. For a second, just a second, Daehwi thinks it’s just his mind playing tricks on him, but then Jinyoung turns to watch him instead, and he finds himself offering him a gentle smile.

“Yeah, you could say that.” they’ve been friends basically since Daehwi was five and moved in to a new neighbourhood. Jaehwan was loud and playful and Daehwi adored him at first sight. “And you?”

Jinyoung doesn’t smile, not exactly, but his features soften just the slightest.

“A friend of a friend.”

Daehwi finds himself wanting to ask, and tilts his head a bit to the side. He doesn’t remember Jaehwan talking about Jinyoung, doesn’t remember ever seeing him in any of their friends confraternizations.

“So, is this friend close to Sewoon hyung?”

“Yep.” Jinyoung nods, and turns to look at the crowd again. “Jihoon hyung’s always been sociable, but he doesn’t like to go to parties alone, and his boyfriend couldn’t come along. I was the next best option.”

“Oh.” Daehwi says, because he understands,but can’t quite relate to the experience. “Did you like it here, then?”

This time, Daehwi’s not imagining it, he’s sure ― Jinyoung’s lips _do_ turn a little upwards.

“It got better a few minutes ago, if you really want to know.”

Daehwi’s entire being is brimming with happiness when he smiles.

This time, the silence between them is not as awkward as before.

 

 

 

As far as Daehwi knows, no one’s found their soulmate at Jaehwan and Sewoon’s confraternization, but at least their group of friends grows. Daehwi’s more than happy to welcome Donghyun and Youngmin, Guanlin’s thrilled to have more hyungs around, and Jinyoung sticks around more often than not, though Daehwi suspects it has something to do with Minhyun and the moon eyes he gives the younger when asking him to tag along, wanting nothing more than doting on his dongsaengs.

It’s really nice, if Daehwi’s being honest with himself. Donghyun’s a good player and often offers them a challenge during their videogame matches, Youngmin’s one of the sweetest guys Daehwi’s ever met, and Jinyoung, though quiet and often content with keeping to himself, never really denies having a good time with their small group.

They get along. They don’t talk much, and they never really need to ― Daehwi _does_ have the habit of letting his mouth run free, and he _does_ talk more than he should sometimes, but no one in their circle of friends actually _minds._ Minhyun is one of them that almost always stays until Daehwi’s ran out of words, until his mind is blank and he can’t bring himself to say anything more, and Jinyoung usually follows them closely, not really bringing himself to the talk but not really bothered enough to leave.

It’s during one of the days where Daehwi’s head is all over the place and he simply can’t _stop_ that the new additions to the group find out that he’s not simply _touchy_ ― Daehwi finds comfort and familiarity in being coddled and feeling loved, and, more often than not, that involves a lot of touches and hugs and pats in the head.

Minhyun notices the change in his mood as soon as Daehwi arrives at Guanlin’s house ― usually, the meeting spot for them, as his mother’s not really fond of letting him out after the sun’s gone. He’s always been more keen to other people’s feelings, and he’s got a good instinct when it comes to things like this.

“Hyung.” Daehwi greets him, as soon as he enters. “If I stand outside and anyone asks, would you say that I’m outstanding?”

Minhyun blinks. Jaehwan’s hollering inside. If Daehwi pays enough attention, he can swear he hears Guanlin’s laugh and Youngmin cheering on Donghyun ― what probably means tonight is videogame night.

“Sure.” Minhyun says, as an afterthought, and immediately wraps an arm around Daehwi’s shoulders, bringing him inside after closing the door. “Why would you ask that?”

“It’s a pun.” Daehwi shrugs, nuzzling against the older’s shoulder and allowing him to basically drag him along to the living room. “My dance coach said I should try ballet classes, something about giving me a chance at a professional audition and I don’t remember what else. Mother was very happy about it.”

Minhyun hums to show he’s listening, and, when they enter the room the others are in, he immediately pulls Daehwi to sit on his lap in the only free spot at the couch. Guanlin greets him with a smile ― Youngmin, at his side, seems confused, his cheering dying down a bit in favor of watching them with a curious stare. Daehwi instinctively curls against Minhyun, and, on the other side, Jaehwan offers him a warm, comforting smile. Sewoon, lying his head against the boy’s shoulder, waves sleepily at them. Both Donghyun and Jinyoung are too focused on the game in front of them to properly notice what’s going on.

“I want a dog.” Daehwi tells, in a completely unrelated note. “Or a cat. But my mom’s allergic, and she usually stays home to work, and I wouldn’t have time to give it enough attention, so I don’t think it’d work out. Do you think it’d work out, hyung?”

Minhyun gently runs his fingers through Daehwi’s hair, using his free arm to hold him closer.

“I don’t know.” he says, truthfully. “Why wouldn’t you have time to take care of it?”

“I don’t stay home nearly enough time to have a pet. Plus, I think I’d have to find a part-time job, because I don’t think mom should pay for everything alone, and, well, with college and dance classes and our weekly plans, I’d have to carry it everywhere if I wanted it to like me.”

“Oh.” Minhyun says, unable to find an argument against it. Then he leans in, pressing his mouth against the side of Daehwi’s head. “Is there something bothering you?”

Daehwi shakes his head, even though there _is._ He thinks his mother may be going out with someone, and he doesn’t feel completely fine with it, but he doesn’t want her to stay alone forever either. He doesn’t want to talk about it.

“Nah. Nothing to worry about.” he snuggles against Minhyun’s shoulder. “You had ballet classes when you were younger, didn’t you, hyung? Were they nice? What do you think I should do?”

Minhyun talks, and talks, and _talks_ ― voice smooth, tone warm, even ―, but Daehwi hears him only half-heartedly. Youngmin’s stare is starting to make him uncomfortable, and, when Donghyun finally manages to win Jinyoung on _whatever it is that they’re playing now_ and turns around to celebrate, his eyes land upon the duo and his words immediately die, confusion spreading through his features. Jinyoung turns only when he notices the strange silence hanging above them, and there’s no judgement in his eyes, but Daehwi can’t see anything else, either.

_Now_ he _does_ feel very uncomfortable. Uncomfortable enough to hide his face against Minhyun’s chest, trying his best not to be seen.

“Hey.” Guanlin’s voice, surprisingly strong for his age, sounds a bit upset, if not irritated. “What’s that with the staring?”

Both Donghyun and Youngmin immediately look away, Donghyun’s cheeks taking a rosy color, Youngmin holding his head down, but Jinyoung takes a bit longer, and, when he _does_ turn around, he seems thoughtful.

“Sorry.” Donghyun finally says, sounding apologetic. “We didn’t know you were… Uh, we didn’t know you were soulmates.”

“It’s because they’re not.” Sewoon chimes in, sleep forgotten, and there’s no real bite in his words, nor in his voice, but a warning is there, telling them not to pry.

“Oh."

Daehwi feels like excusing himself and _leaving,_ but Minhyun’s strong hold on him doesn’t falter, and, soon, guided by Jaehwan, the others start chattering, the attention drifting away from him, making the tension in his guts loosen up a bit. Daehwi almost ― the keyword being _almost_ ― feels safe again, almost feels comfortable.

Jinyoung’s eyes, big and clear, still stay on him for a long time, even after both Donghyun and Youngmin seem to have decided that they’re completely _not_ bringing it up again.

Daehwi doesn’t know how to feel about it.

 

 

 

Things are strange for a while. Daehwi doesn’t know how to put it, how to _explain_ it. It’s not that they treat him different from before, definitely not, but… None of them seems entirely comfortable, either. Donghyun seems a bit shy, as if still treading on unstable ground, and Youngmin just looks like he’s walking on eggshells. Daehwi can’t really notice anything different about Jinyoung, but he believes it’s just because he didn’t search enough ― _no one_ ever felt immediately comfortable with him after finding out, _no one,_ not even Jaehwan, who’s been with Daehwi the longest.

It still upsets him, though. When he sits close to Donghyun and the older goes completely still, as if afraid of him ― when he reaches for something at the same time Youngmin does and the other flinches away and makes a lame excuse to go somewhere else. Daehwi doesn't talk about it with the others, because he doesn't think it's something that should bother them. Donghyun, Youngmin, Jinyoung ― they have  _all_ the right in the world to not feel comfortable with him, with how he sees things, with how he deals with them. Daehwi just wishes it wouldn't hurt so much, because he  _knows_ he should've gotten used to it by now, he  _knows_ he should give people time to get used to something that's not  _normal_ for their society patterns.

It doesn't make things any better, though. It's more than enough for Daehwi to make a conscious effort to stay a bit away from everyone when they go out together. He trails back and often tries his best not to cuddle any of his hyungs, resuming his touchy nature to Guanlin, when the boy's feeling like it. But then Guanlin's schoolwork starts to get in his way of going out, and he's always cared enough about his grades to put priorities into his life, and Daehwi starts to find himself somewhat alone during their meetings.

"Does it bother you?" Jinyoung asks, quietly, one day, and his question is so sudden that all Daehwi can do for a while is look up at him, confused. Jinyoung's a bit away, but not nearly as much as the others, hands inside his pockets, eyes trained on his hyungs.

"What?"

The older looks at him for a moment, just a moment, and Daehwi instinctively shrinks onto his hoodie, trying his best to seem smaller. Jinyoung's eyes, though, are soft.

"Donghyun and Youngmin." he says, and shrugs. "How they're treating you now. Does it bother you?"

The question is not something that Daehwi likes to think about.  _Yes,_ it does bother him.  _No,_ he doesn't want his hyungs doing something about it. But Jinyoung doesn't seem to be  _judging_ him. He doesn't seem to be trying to pry an answer out of Daehwi, either. It's just... A question. A genuinely curious question, free of worry, free of guilty, free of anger. Daehwi decides he doesn't owe him anything, but he  _wants_ to be honest.

"A bit." he shrugs, and looks at the duo playfully pushing each other around in front of them. "It's not their fault. They're just... Not used to it, I guess."

Jinyoung remains silent after that. Daehwi thinks he won't say anything more about it, and then ―

"Do you want me to talk with them?"

Daehwi misses a step and stumbles. Jinyoung's quick to grab his arm and stop him from falling, eyes a bit wider, alarmed.

"Uh." Daehwi stammers. "Uh, no, you ― you don't need to do this. It's ― okay, I guess."

Jinyoung blinks.

"It's not okay. They're making you uncomfortable." something in his features changes a bit. "I  _can_ talk to them."

"I don't want you to." Daehwi shakes his head, resolute. "I  _don't."_

Jinyoung still stares at him for a moment, eyes knowing, before nodding slowly.

"Okay." he says. "Okay."

He doesn't ask anything else.

It takes Daehwi all the way to the theater to notice Jinyoung's still holding him.

He doesn't say a thing.

Jinyoung doesn't, either.

 

 

 

Although Daehwi asked Jinyoung not to talk about it with Donghyun and Youngmin, he didn't think he'd have to talk with his  _other_ hyungs about it. Two weeks after the night in the theater, Youngmin approaches him, head low between his shoulders, eyes uncertain, and his posture alone is more than enough for Daehwi to know he's tense. He immediately goes into alert, knowing there's something wrong going on.

"Hyung?" he calls, tentatively, and Youngmin looks at him for a moment before sighing, his shoulders dropping before he straightens his body and stares right back at the younger.

"I'm sorry." he says. "For, uh, being kind of a jerk to you about... About Minhyun not being your soulmate and all. I shouldn't have done that, and I'm sorry if I upset you."

Daehwi blinks, confused ― when realization hits him, it comes with a small piece of betrayal.

"Did Jinyoung talk to you about this?"

"I ― Jinyoung?" Youngmin looks lost. "No. It was Sewoon. He smacked some sense into me and Donghyun."

"Sewoon hyung?" a part of Daehwi feels glad it wasn't Jaehwan, because the older  _does_ have a somewhat bad way of dealing with things like these.

Daehwi didn't expect Sewoon to care enough about him to do something like this.

"Yeah." Youngmin rubs the back of his neck nervously. "I  _was_ being a jerk, he just made me see it. So... I'm sorry. For real. I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable or anything like that."

Tension leaves Daehwi's body entirely as soon as he notices how Youngmin sounds sincere, and he even takes the risk of smiling at him.

"Don't worry about it, hyung. It's okay."

It wasn't, but now it is. Youngmin offers him a tentative, weak smile, and ruffles Daehwi's hair on his way out.

 

 

 

Jinyoung spends more time with Daehwi and the others, even when Minhyun's not around, and, soon enough,  _he's_ the one that's can always be counted on not to miss their meetings. Daehwi, more often than not, finds himself unconsciously sitting close to him, or standing next to him, or trying to make him opinate on things. Jinyoung doesn't seem to mind ― if anything, he looks quite  _content_  ―, and they soon develop their own way of talking and sharing things to each other. It's not quite as effective as a session of cuddling, but it still works.

"Favorite color?"

"Purple. Weirdest hobby?"

"Collecting candles. What do you like to do on your free time?"

"I like singing. Favorite movie of all times?"

"Twilight.  _Definitely_ Twilight. What would you ―"

"Wait, wait." Jinyoung holds his hands up, asking for time.  _"Twilight?_   Seriously?"

Daehwi squints his eyes at him.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with Twilight!" he pouts. "I liked the wolves, okay?"

Jinyoung's lips tremble when he tries to hold his smile, but it doesn't quite work. Daehwi feels like smiling back, but fights the urge to do so.

"Hyung!" he complains. "You're being unfair."

Jinyoung shakes his head.

"It's not being unfair. I'm just  _honest."_ he pretends to turn his attention to the TV, where the others are watching some weird musical that Jaehwan's decided to put, singing his lungs out at every opportunity he gets. "But the vampires were  _definitely_ better."

Daehwi feels rightfully offended.

_"Hyung!"_

 

 

 

They have more in common that Daehwi would've guessed at first. The games they play, the stories they read, the things they do. He  _likes_ spending his time with Jinyoung.

It's not a problem until Daehwi makes it so.

 

 

 

Donghyun doesn't outright apologize, not like Youngmin did, and, somehow, that works just fine. He simply  _stops_ avoiding being near Daehwi ― if anything, he makes a conscious effort to keep himself  _close._ He ruffles Daehwi's hair when he gets the chance, he bumps their shoulders and their knees and sometimes rests his head against the younger's shoulder or lap, complaining about being tired or about wanting someone to  _really_ challenge him in their games. It's the maximum of effort Daehwi's ever seen someone put on making him comfortable about being touchy, and it makes him feel warm all over.

"Do you think he minds?" he ends up asking Jinyoung, one day, when they're waiting Jaehwan and Sewoon come back with their food. "Don't you think it makes him... Uncomfortable?"

Jinyoung's known Youngmin and Donghyun for longer than Daehwi does, so he feels safe about asking him. If anyone has answers, it's Jinyoung.

"I don't think it does. Donghyun's always been more touchy, he just didn't have anyone to share it with before." Jinyoung stops for a moment. "Don't worry about it, Daehwi. He likes you. It's fine."

Something about how he says it makes Daehwi spend  _more_ time dwelling on the matter ― Jinyoung doesn't sound  _content,_ so there must be something wrong, right? Something that he's not telling him. Something that he's  _hiding._

Daehwi can't think of anything, so he doesn't ask.

 

 

 

Daehwi notices something's definitely wrong when Jinyoung misses  _one_ of their meetings, and he spends almost the entire night moping on the couch.

"Hyung." Guanlin complains, the closest to a whine Daehwi's ever seen him get. "We know that your favorite person's not here, but can you at least pretend you're enjoying us?"

Daehwi stammers and scrambles to find a way to explain himself. Jaehwan  _guffaws,_ the traitor.

"It's not that." Daehwi bites his lower lip, embarassed. "It's just ― there are a few things in my mind. I'm sorry if it seemed that I was ignoring you, Guanlinie."

"Oh." the younger drops himself at his side, lying with his head on Daehwi's lap, half over him, half over the couch. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Daehwi shakes his head.

"Don't worry." he says, feeling just the tiniest bit guilty about being so  _open_ about his feelings ― open enough that they've noticed Jinyoung's absence has made him upset. "It's about my dance classes."

Guanlin nods solemnly, understanding, and the guilt gets a bit worse.

"He didn't deny Jinyoung's his favorite person, though." Youngmin elbows Donghyun. "You owe me."

Daehwi tries his best not to facepalm, cheeks burning.

He fails.

 

 

 

Jinyoung's not very good at expressing himself ― Daehwi's noticed it since their first meeting, but that's never been a problem, it's never been something that  _bothers_ him. It's never came to his mind, not even once, that one day he'd feel  _bad_ about not being able to fully comprehend the other. Not until Jinyoung starts avoiding him.

It's not something so open as what Youngmin and Donghyun did. It doesn't even get  _close_ to it. It's just... How he holds himself. How he looks away and how his shoulders tense and how he sometimes doesn't want to keep a conversation. And Daehwi  _knows_ he's not exactly good at being subtle, at controlling his emotions, but, after the third time he asks something and Jinyoung actively  _shrugs,_ he can't help but feel that he's being rejected ― and he has  _no idea_ what he did wrong.

Jinyoung accepted his invitation to hang out and watch some animes, so it can't be  _that_ bad. But, if he's not talking, it's bad  _enough._

"Hyung." Daehwi calls him, quietly. He pats himself in the back mentally at the steadiness in his voice, but has to keep his eyes fixed on the TV when Jinyoung turns to him, a confused 'uh?' escaping him. "Is there something bothering you?"

Jinyoung's face morphs into confusion.

"What? No." he blinks, finding the control and pausing the anime. "Why?"

Daehwi closes his hands into fists against his thighs, trying to hide how much they're trembling.

"You're avoiding me." he can't help the tone of accusation that spills all over his words.

At his side, Jinyoung goes still. Daehwi finally turns to him, frowning slightly.

"Did I do something wrong?"

Jinyoung watches him with an unreadable expression before saying, almost as quietly as a whisper:

"I think I should go home."

He stands, and, for a moment, Daehwi considers letting him go. But it sounds wrong. It  _is_ wrong. Instead of standing as well and guiding Jinyoung out, he simply reaches out, and his fingers curl around the older's bony wrist.

"Don't." he asks, almost  _pleads._ "Stay."

Jinyoung turns to look at him again. There's something different in his face, something harder. His eyes are as soft as ever, though, and they seem... Hurt? Daehwi can't think of a reason for him to be. He taps the space at his side on the bed. Jinyoung considers his options before giving in, sitting again. He's closer this time, their legs pressed together, knees against each other, and Daehwi lies his head against the older's shoulder. Jinyoung goes still again.

"Stay." Daehwi repeats, lower.

And Jinyoung does.

Jinyoung does.

 

 

 

Jinyoung doesn't completely approve of Daehwi's antics ― it's clear in his eyes, in his tension, in the slight change of his stance when Daehwi comes closer, when he nuzzles against him or hugs him in their greetings or leans against his side when they're watching something, be it with the others, be it just the two of them. He doesn't approve, but he doesn't _refuse_ him either. He tenses, but never leaves him hanging or tells him to stop.  
  
Daehwi's not an idiot, he knows the silence could mean anything, _literally anything,_ and that what he's got isn't nearly as assertive as explicit consent. But Jinyoung _lets_ him reach out. He lets him hold his hands and sleep on his lap and lie against his shoulder when they're tired. It makes Daehwi very confused, but also incredibly _fond._  
  
"If I ever do something that makes you uncomfortable, will you tell me?"  
  
Jinyoung stops paying attention to Jaehwan and Minhyun arguing heatedly over who's the best Transformer to give Daehwi a strange look.  
  
"Why would you ask that?"  
  
Daehwi shrugs.  
  
"I don't know. I was thinking."  
  
Jinyoung doesn't seem entirely sure about that, arching an eyebrow, as if saying _'Seriously?'._ But he doesn't press, and Daehwi's insides turn into something very close to a mushy goo of warmth and satisfaction.  
  
"If you ever made me feel uncomfortable, you'd know. I wouldn't stick around so much."  
  
It's not quite an answer, but Daehwi knows it's the best he'll get, and he's ok with this.

 

 

 

Jaehwan is, contrary to popular belief, a very observant person. When he finally gets his hands on Daehwi alone, he decides it's time to get some answers.  
  
"So... You and Jinyoung are pretty close, aren't you?"  
  
Daehwi ― who's helping him with dinner this time ― looks up curiously from the vegetables he's been cutting. There's no threat on Jaehwan's stance, only genuine confusion, and Daehwi finds himself answering with honesty.  
  
"I like to think we are." he resumes his work. "Why?"  
  
Jaehwan shrugs, focused on whatever it is that he's cooking right now.  
  
"You seem pretty close to me." he pauses, as if considering his next words. "Do you like him?"  
  
Daehwi stops. Looks up at his hyung and blinks.  
  
"Of course I do." he feels as if he's lost something crucial here. "He's my friend."  
  
Jaehwan turns off the oven to be able to give Daehwi all his attention.  
  
"That's not what I meant, buddy." he says, not unkindly. "Do you like _like_ him?"  
  
_That_ makes Daehwi's entire train of thought come to a screeching halt. He feels his face starting to burn, cheeks heating up at the understanding of _what,_ exactly, Jaehwan is asking.  
  
_"Hyung!"_ he complains, lifting his hands up to hide his embarassment. "Why would you say that?!"  
  
Jaehwan's smile is small and warm and _knowing._ Daehwi feels exposed, and the unfamiliar feeling settling in his stomach makes him want to run and hide.  
  
"You know there's nothing wrong if you do, right?" Jaehwan nods assuringly. "I'd be the last person in this world to judge you."  
  
"It's not like that, hyung." Daehwi shakes his head, frowning slightly. "He's not my soulmate. Jinyoung hyung's just a friend."  
  
Jaehwan's eyes scan his face, searching for something, and whatever it is that he finds is enough to make him nod, deciding to drop the subject ― _for now._  
  
"A friend _and_ your favorite person."  
  
Daehwi pouts.  
  
"You'll never let me live this down, will you?"  
  
"Nu-uh." Jaehwan puts a hand over his heart, dramatic. "You hurt me. Betrayal at its finest."  
  
Daehwi can't help it: he _giggles._  
  
Jaehwan smiles.  
  
Everything's fine.

 

 

 

Jinyoung's hands are always warm, and Daehwi finds comfort in holding them whenever he gets the chance. They're not much larger than his own, but they're still big enough to engulf Daehwi's hands, long and thin fingers holding onto his and making a bubbly feeling dance under his skin.  
  
They develop the weirdly fun habit of playing fight with their thumbs. Daehwi will be doing something else, paying attention to someone else, and Jinyoung will immediately smack their interwined fingers, initiating a match. When Jinyoung's upset, his fingers will remain unmoving even if Daehwi tries his best ― when he's feeling bothered with something, too, Daehwi notices, because Jinyoung has the habit of biting on his nails when he's feeling troubled.  
  
Those are habits Daehwi learns with time. He learns slowly, at baby steps, while their friendship quietly morphs into something else ― something Daehwi can't quite find a name for.  
  
Jinyoung's hands tremble when he's upset. It's a small thing, barely noticeable, and Daehwi wouldn't have known if it weren't for the fact that more than half of the time they spend together they're holding hands. He soon finds the correlation between the shaky hands and Jinyoung being quieter, more closed off, and decides that those are the days where he needs to tone down his touchy nature a bit. Jinyoung never tells him anything, but his eyes are grateful and his features are kind, and that's more than enough for Daehwi to know things will be okay.  
  
Jinyoung's good days are still Daehwi's favorites, though. Those are the days where he smiles and talks and starts thumb fights like he's more than eager to have Daehwi complaining about the unfairness of his bigger hands.  
  
"It's not unfairness." Jinyoung says, after Daehwi's given up on his fourth attempt at thumb fighting. "I'm older than you. That's how things are!"  
  
"That's absurd." Daehwi's moping from his spot on the carpet. "You're not even a year older! Plus, Guanlin's taller than us both, and he's basically a toddler."  
  
"I take offence to that!" Guanlin says, though his eyes are fixed on his homework.  
  
Both Daehwi and Jinyoung ignore the comment.  
  
"Don't worry about it, Daehwi." Jinyoung pats his head gently ― the most comfortable he feels when it comes to initiating contact with the younger. "You're cute just like this."  
  
Daehwi's cheeks are bright red, but the compliment has him _glowing_ with excitement. Jinyoung smiles.  
  
Somewhere in the background, Guanlin fakes a disgusted noise.

 

 

 

Jinyoung is quiet and polite and has the prettiest eyes Daehwi's ever seen. He's also warm and gentle and _kind,_ and Daehwi already knows he's doomed.  
  
It starts with wanting to make him smile and laugh.  
  
It ends when his eyes keep on lingering more than they should at the older's lips.  
  
Daehwi wants to kiss him.  
  
Daehwi wants to _kiss_ him.  
  
_Daehwi wants to kiss Jinyoung._  
  
Fuck.

**Author's Note:**

> SO, IT ENDS HERE?????  
> I have a few ideas rolling around my head that I plan on writing still, if you're interested or wouldn't mind <3 I can drop by and explain them to you after the author revealing, if you'd be interested? ~~but it's ok if you're not <3 ~~
> 
> Hope you (and everyone who takes interest in this rollercoaster) had fun reading! \o


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